Thursday, December 11, 2008

Draft of A New Poem




*poof!*
_________________________

The photograph: Members of the so-called "Thayer Expedition" to Brazil. Agassiz himself is not shown. The philosopher William James is at the lower left.

Haven't quite got the lineation right on this one one, particularly at the top.

3 Comments:

Blogger Cindy Hunter Morgan said...

I like the early sense of ships passing, emphasized by the arrival on SS Colorado and the departure on RMS Onedia. What if you gave those vessels their own lines? That would set the rest up nicely, I think. Maybe another line break after "financial support" would also help emphasize Heade's success/gloating.

Our mutual friend, the Reverend Fletcher, told me
of your imminent arrival in Rio de Janeiro,
aboard the SS Colorado.
Unfortunately, I sail tomorrow for London,
aboard the RMS Oneida,
with twenty hummingbird canvasses
and six Brazilian landscapes,
as well as financial support
for my plan to lithograph my Gems series

Thank you for sharing this! You are creating a wonderful series.

9:55 AM  
Blogger greg rappleye said...

Thank you . Good thoughts!

3:02 PM  
Blogger Leslie said...

Darn. That's the second one. I saw it, wanted to come back and read it, and it was gone!

4:20 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home