Saturday, August 09, 2008

Poem



This is a re-draft of an earlier poem. Even though I had my doubts about the earlier version--and continue to have doubts--I am still working on it.


*poof!*

5 Comments:

Blogger Happyflower said...

Desire is ash, fanned again to flame.
Not the fire we remember,
but enough to sear the heart.

I love this!

5:51 PM  
Blogger Happyflower said...

Also the splash of read in the stanzas remind me of that move 6th Sense

http://askville.amazon.com/SimilarQuestions.do?req=significance-color-red-movie-Sixth-Sense

6:14 PM  
Blogger Leslie said...

I love the meander of this—a patient love poem—who knew such a thing was possible?

Plus blackberries again. Plath, Hass, you—I don't see dead people, I see blackberries

7:45 AM  
Blogger Happyflower said...

Okay, I meant to say red, I can't believed I typed read. dugh. I even dreamed of a red snapper last night, so the poem must have done something! haha!

I kinda sensed sadness in the poem, like how a marriage changes,(they always do). But how it changes, where the excitement of the unexpected is gone, but the comfort of the familiarity takes over.

11:48 AM  
Blogger greg rappleye said...

Thank you for the comments.

I think this poem needs to toughen up a bit.

Blackberries, patience (?) , red....

2:02 PM  

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